Heroic Legacies

Ahhh-  Finally made it to afternoon on a lovely Father’s Day Sunday.    Amazingly, all the kids sat for a family photo, just for a father’s day gift for Grandpa, and they are now all playing in their rooms;  time to sit and relax, watching the movie “Percy Jackson”  with my Hubby- Wow, it almost feels like a date!

Sitting here, thinking of my Dad, and all the fathers behind him- in fact, we’re even watching a movie based on the legacies of the fathers– I really wanted to give tribute to the awesome men that have been a part of my life.  Only problem is, it’s been 15 minutes– quiet time is over So, since I can’t think deep or poetic right now…  I decided to do more of a photo essay.

This is not my ancestors photo, tho’ it would be fun if it was.  It’s us as a young family, working at the “This is the place” living museum park in SLC, Utah.  It was a fantastic summer.  It wasn’t the first time that I felt connected to my ancestors- but this time, I was old enough to finally really understand what they did for me; and with my little ones, I really got a feeling for the effort it took to raise kids well in their circumstances.  Even as a special needs mom- I really have very little to complain about.  Thank you- I am so grateful for the sacrifice you gave to build the foundation of my family’s faith.

This photo is my Dad and his parents and brother.  I would love to sit and upload photo’s like this for all my, and my hubby’s parents and grandparents- but it’s father’s day, so I’ll let my nostalgia stick with just one line of Heroes.  Awesome, huh?  Thank you Grandpa (and Grandma) you raised a great man, who became my first hero.

Faster than a calculator;  Stronger than a a guy half his age;  Able to … to hold babies in a single hand… A man of integrity and valor that gave me the example of what kind of man I wanted for my own best friend someday.

so— Here’s my best friend– a really great father in his own right, a true credit to the legacy of his own heritage.  Being a hero to his daughters, and teaching his sons how to be great fathers in their turn.

And here we are now- the photo I mentioned that we took just today.  A gift just for our Grandpa on Father’s day.  Grandpa- you have passed on a legacy of heroes… The heart of courage to climb the higher path, and the love to move thru the pain, and never give up on anyone.  Thanks, we love you!

Adventure Update Log

Long week.  I don’t feel very inspiring or poetic, hard to sleep, and then when I do- I start dreaming of lecturing people about their poor care of my kids.  (sigh)  And attempts to sleep-in are gone with Ryan and  DK awake and giggling in Ryan’s room; he’s either playing a game or watching a cartoon- but I don’t really want to wake up enough to find out which.  But reading over old posts helps, it really helps to know that Heavenly Father is watching and cares.

Well, just to update myself- I had my ultrasound this week.  They didn’t find anything big enough to scare them into going for the biopsy– so they said that was good news, ’cause it meant no cancer signs.  It’s been hard to take it as good news tho, cause it means no easy answer.  With my luck, it’s several things at once- I keep having visions of different possibilities, and maybe something else just for good measure.  But I’m not giving up- kids need me- so follow up with the Doctor is next week.

In other news, I tried GF waffles last night (from a pre-packaged mix)  They were a hit, and tasted really good, almost indistinguishable from my normal ones- but Ryan wouldn’t eat them- he said he can’t eat breakfast food for dinner.  (not like I have done breakfast food for dinner at least once every other week since he was born)  Twit is getting more Autistic as I watch.  sigh. Kydee and I had a hard time digesting it tho’, so I’m going to have to read the label and work on that one.

Well that’s life this morning.  Hoping to get feeling better so I can post something more uplifting.  I think I’ll spend the morning working on missionary skirts for my niece- service projects that are also creative works always boost my spirits.

Talk to you later.

Cleaning out the Cupboards

So- with kids camps over, and birthdays (and cakes) done for a while, it’s back to my adventure of trying Gluten Free for a bit this summer.   I have pulled all my GF recipe books out of retirement, tested a few box mixes, and yesterday I read nutrition articles and recipes till my head hurt.  Now I have my favorite recipes copied, most of the ingredients purchased; and it’s down to cleaning out the kitchen.  And packing away that bin of wheat flour is actually going to be the easy part… Also on the list is going thru the ingredient labels on all the condiments, cooking ingredients, and munchies- even the vitamins!  Whew!

Progress is slow, but I’m moving forward on my personal doctor appointments as well, so I’m actually pretty happy with where we are so far. 

Finding Courage in Unusual Places

Had the most amazing moment of enlightenment this morning- and I just had to share!

The last couple of weeks have been those kind where you’re either really busy, or really quiet, with very little in-between.   The kids and I got thru to the end of the school year, and just collapsed for a couple of days like a balloon deflating. 

We so needed that rest.  Then it was back to getting everything ready for camps- 3 at once.  The girls are both at church girls camp this year, and Brand is with the Varsity Scouts.  It seemed to be all I could do to force my brain to function in little 20 minute spurts and get everything ready– Then it was time to take myself to the doctor, and start gathering ingredients and recipes for our gluten free summer experiments.

But- as I sit here, wondering how they all handled their camps (I’ll find out later today)  I suddenly realized that I am not afraid at the moment- I have found a scoop of courage to put in my bucket from some places I did not expect.  Places called:  Reaching Out,  Overlooking, Reading Blogs, and Letting Go.

Reaching Out.

I have always like secret service projects, but while those cheer up my blues and help me not to think about myself for a while- they weren’t doing the trick lately.  Fears were getting root.  So I called on an old friendship.  And bless her heart, she came and visited for over a fortnight.  The kids say we talked the entire 2 weeks, and they are almost right… but what a cleansing I have not had in years.  I have been in this house for 8 years now, and I am finally starting to not feel like a transplant.  I can cope with the heat, I almost know when to plant things, and I am working hard to learn the names of everyone at church.  But I have no family here, and at times, like holidays, we really notice that we are on our own.  It’s amazing how profound a friend can be.  There have been the rare gems who poured their love into me from the moment we moved here, and that has kept me going;  but I am also grateful for the rare treasures of old friendships renewed.  My body doesn’t want to cooperate yet- but my spirit is energized, I feel like I can soar.

Overlooking.

This is not really a new concept.  At least once a year we hear a lesson, either in church or in motivations places, that try to drum into our brains this vital need.  Phrases such as “Play to your strengths”, or “don’t compare your weaknesses to other’s strengths” and on- we really should pay attention before they start sounding trite.  But all this week I have been feeling it differently, and it finally came to a head– The need to look past, or in my case over, the weaknesses to see what is good.  Loved ones tell me to look at all I am doing to help my sweet kids and those around me- (like how non-profound they can be at times as they feel loved enough to learn to cope) and tell me to not look at what I have no strength left for.  It’s hard for me to do-  I hate mess and chaos- but I just don’t have it in me to push harder, and I suddenly felt the truth this morning- that that is o.k.

Let’s see– Reading

Specifically today- Reading Blogs.   This morning in the wee hours that I couldn’t get back to sleep- I came across a blog that truly inspired me.  I was wandering the gluten free recipes, and came across a blog that opened up her comment line to the question “what have you learned that you can share” …and I started reading all the thoughts that I have had.  I found out today that I am not alone.  It was so comforting!  and I also read that knowing how to cook well (the traditional way) could even be a hinderance.  EUREKA!  Maybe it’s possible that my weakness that I was so worried about (I think the kitchen actively dislikes me) I need a Hollywood drum-roll or something—is actually a a possible hidden strength waiting for me to find it! (blog I read is here-
http://glutenfreegirl.com/2010/02/gluten-free-baking/
)

and Letting Go

Well- all of this boils down today to the process of letting go of pre-concieved notions that are filling me with fears I don’t even need; giving me “Agida” so to speak.  I am doing o.k. already.  And isn’t it encouraging to know that?

The Power of One

Early morning; not a single person awake in the house besides me.  I love these rare ponder moments.  Today, I find my moment of peace drawing my thoughts back to something I actually think about a lot;  and that is the difference a single person can make in the world.

I  don’t mean like a shining new pop-star, because the influence they wield may change what people wear for a while, but it only lasts till the next pop-star comes along.  On the other hand, there have been moments where a single strand of courage has changed the course of history.  Like King Arther, and Joan of Arc.  But as I ponder, I drop deeper, and I find that there is another layer of influence— and that is the power that the courage of single individuals can have in our own lives.

Take the example I mentioned, Joan of Arc.  I would love to meet her one day;  but tho it was her face of courage that changed France, she was not totally alone.  She had the ministering of the Lord, but he also sent a small group of friend who stood by her and supported her.  People who moved her thru the politics and who she could talk to.  Joseph Smith had his family and friends.  Even the legendary King Arther had Merlin.  I don’t think we could make it thru this world alone.

Some days I am a strong mother… I can cart my kids to all the different schools and doctors that they need, then help with homework and soothe the fears at night.  Some days tho, I can feel my soul shaking inside the shell of my mortality, and I need my own strength to be lifted and encouraged.  I feel the Lord move thru my life, and I try to write those moments down.  That gets me thru a lot of lonely days… and it’s a good thing;  because for me,  loneliness is truly harder to handle than all the pain this world can dish up.  It makes me really glad for the strengthening power the Lord sends me, on the wings of those few who come to my rescue.  I do not think I would ever make it thru this life without the wonderful people that I can call my friends.

So I want to take this rare quiet moment, and share my gratitude to the ones who the Lord sends in my hour of need.  Those few rare heroes, some who are family and some who are soul-kindred, who stick with me no matter how high the storms of life rage.   You are my support.  Thanks.

Favorite Basic Sugar Cookies

One sure sign that summer is here– I finally have the time and energy to bake cookies.  Of all the recipes we have tried, this is my oldest recipe, but still my kids favorite sugar cookie- so it’s probably the one I will adapt for our gluten free experiment this summer.

1 C sugar

1 C butter

2 eggs

1-1/2 tea. vanilla

1/2 tea. salt

1/2 tea. baking soda

3 C flour

*optional -small amount of poppy seeds

apple or berry jelly

————–

In a large bowl, beat together sugar and butter.  Add eggs and vanilla, and salt and baking powder,  beat till fluffy.  Add flour.  Finish mixing with a wooden spoon as dough will be fairly stiff.

Variations

———————————

Thumb-prints

Heat oven to 400 degrees.

Gently roll dough into 1″ balls.  If desired,  roll balls in the poppy seeds, place on ungreased cookie sheet,  make an indent into the center of the ball with your thumb, or finger tip.  fill indent with  jelly.  Bake 8 to 10 minutes, or until edges just begin to brown.  Remove from cookie sheet to cool.

About 7 doz. cookies

——————————-SlicesDivide dough into thirds, shape each portion into a log about 1-1/2 ” in diameter.  Wrap and refrigerate at least 4 hours.  Heat oven to 400.Cut roll into 1/8 to 1/4 inch slices. Place 1 apart on ungreased cookie sheet.  Bake 8 to 10 minutes.

Summer and Comfort

Yay!  Finally all the classes are over- the end of the school year has finally arrived.  This year was a long, hard row to hoe, and there were moments when I didn’t think I would make it to this moment.  It was a near thing, perhaps; but this week also brought good things..

I was given the gift of singing in the Stake choir last week for Stake Conference.  Mark watched over the kids from our home building.  He said it was cute how TeaRose touched the TV screen when my face showed up during the pre-meeting camera set ups. Then they all were really good during the meeting.  I think that the spirit was part of why I was finally able to grab the courage on Monday to call a new doctor for myself- not just getting brave in behalf of my kids.  It is sorta for them too, in that they need me healthy too, but this one I am hoping is also for me.

Let’s see–My TeaRose made it all the way to the end of finals and succeeded with a courage and grace far beyond her expectations; So did Brand (first full year clear to the end without too many sickdays  for many years) And Kydee graduated from 6th grade.  (YAY!) And she did very well; pulling off straight A’s.  She is so excited for Jr.High next year!  I am excited to be done with grade-school.  It helps a lot in the feelings that “life really does move forward” to finally move past that stage.

And this week I also was blessed with a visit from a friend.  It’s amazing how much stronger and more sure of my peace I get, just because of the gift of being able to talk to someone.    There truly is a power in even a single friend to help you thru your struggles…

It really sheds light on the scripture I found – so here is our thought for Sunday

2 Corinthians 1:4

4Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.

Courage quote for Tuesday

I found a great thought to help me keep going the last few days to the end of the school year.

“Don’t be gloomy.  Do not dwell on unkind things.  Stop seeking out the storms and enjoy more fully the sunlight.  Even if you are not happy, put a smile on your face.  ‘Accentuate the positive.’  Look a little deeper for the good.  Go forward in life with a twinkle in your eye and a smile on your face, with great and strong purpose in your heart.  Love life.” – Gordon B. Hinkley

Surviving the End-of-the-Year Blitz

Just one week of school left this year; and I’m not sure my kids are going to make it!  The stress from the finals reviews and tests, and the sudden heat wave, and on top of it all, my van’s brake line blew a seal– the kids are shaking and taking turns curling into balls in my lap.  One of those days when I have to swallow my stress so that I can comfort theirs.

So- I opened up my computer, and I feel impressed to find moments  of courage.

Lets see–

Yesterday morning– I watched my ninth grader gather up a smile and get out of the van- fearful but willing to trust mom that all will be well- on her way to give an oral report at school.  Such a tall, lovely blonde picture of courage.

Oh, and Monday afternoon- I can’t forget– was our IEP meeting for Junior High- going to eighth grade.  Such courage to sit with me, and listen to grown-ups discuss all your strengths and weaknesses without meltdowns or running from the room (tho I felt like it almost as much as he did.)

Today, my awesome hubby rescued me- dropping everything to help me get my girls from school when my brakes failed, and now he is fixing them in the garage.  What courage to face ordinary daily trauma.

You know, everyone has had to move thru things today… Even our cute littlest ended up with one of her nasty migraines today.  But we are all standing because we have each other to lean on.  It’s a good thing.  I think, just maybe, we will make it– at least till tomorrow. 

Boy! I love being a Mother!

I wrote this as a young mother.  I have tried in the years since to think up new verses, but it was complete as is, and never wanted to be changed.   So here you go, just for fun.

————————————————————–
My baby just found a permanent pen
Boy-I love being a Mother!
The boy’s wrestling has turned to Band-Aids again
Boy- I love being a Mother.
I finally got breakfast at quarter past nine
and sat down a moment to jot down this rhyme
when the screaming started in record time
Boy! I really love being a Mother!

And yet……

There’s love shining in my little girl’s eyes
Yes- I love being a Mother
I hear my ten year old suddenly sound wise
Yes- I love being a Mother
Boys make themselves strong to be my hero
I love to watch their minds learn and grow
So- tho’ the floor’s now awash with Cheerios
Yes!  I do love being a Mother!

Shareen Halliday-  Mother’s Day 2002