to Stand

Originally posted on butterfly kisses and pixie dust:

Here in this solitude I stand, if only for a moment, if only in my dream,

to melt away in a sea of mist my daily load of pain.

Lord, still my heart, take my hand; give me strength to face dawns gleam.

My loved ones need more than I have tonight- tho I don’t wish to complain.

Buttress my wall, my anchor dig deep, make me a tool in thy mighty hand.

Help me to show them thy ageless Love,

Help me to help them to STAND

-by Shareen Halliday– Sept.2012- renewed and enlarged, Feb. 2015

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Sunday morning Scripture

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I was reading this today

Mark 4:

37 And there arose a great storm of wind, and the waves beat into the ship, so that it was now full.

38 And he was in the hinder part of the ship, asleep on a pillow: and they awake him, and say unto him, Master, carest thou not that we perish?

39 And he arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, Peace, be still. And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm.

40 And he said unto them, Why are ye so fearful? how is it that ye have no faith?

Some years are stormy years.  But comfort can come, the Lord’s plan is not always to calm the storm.  He is interested in preparing warriors and building strength of heart and mind, and these things need different blessings.  But his promises are sure.  It may not be the kind of peace we are looking for, but if we trust in him, we will be able to see His peace is truly there…

John 14: 27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

Categories: Courage quotes, Midnight musings | 1 Comment

Happy Anniversary

Well-On this day, 31 years ago, there was a blizzard of not-quite-record proportions up in Salt Lake City.  No one wanted to be out on  the roads… but I woke up that day quite oblivious to the fact that it was still winter.  Now here we are in Arizona, and it’s supposed to be another great day of no clouds and temperatures in the high 70’s (F) or so.

But it’s still dark outside, so it’s not too hard to remember WAY back to a day of incredible naivete :)  I look back at the few photos that have survived the adventures life has had to offer and I think; It’s a very good thing we don’t know what’s in store for us, or we would never have the guts to get started in the first place.

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But I am very glad I did.  Thru it all, I may have learned many things.  But one thing I want to say before anyone wakes up today, is how amazingly grateful I am to be blessed with being best friends with such an amazing Hero.  When we were young and knew less- we didn’t know any of those fancy words for what challenges the Lord had set upon my Sweetie’s shoulders.  But I did know that he loved the Lord, that he was super smart and had a great and unusual sense of humor, that he never gave up once committed, and that he was committed to loving me.  What a great list to start out with.  I also knew that the Lord had had a hand in our getting together.  These things have given me the courage to hang on for the roller-coaster ride called life.  At this point, I can say that I have learned that my hubby does not like to be surprised much, that he loves Christmas, acting, and dancing.  He loves talking to people and making new friends, he has a good eye for photography, and he has a train-track brain that will not let go of a problem till he tracks it down to the very end and fixes it- which makes him very good at his engineering job.  He also has Aspergers.  My hero has the courage and determination to continually learn new things in order to be a good hubby and dad in our home, including fixing air conditioning motors, car transmissions, clothes dryer drums, unpicking my sewing mistakes, and learning whatever his sons are into;  the humility to say sorry when he makes a mistake, comforts me when I make all my mistakes.  As we have learned together, he has found ways to describe the different and beautiful world he lives in;  and he still has a deep love for the Lord.   I love you Sweetheart,  I am so lucky.    Yup– I’ll go for another 31 years.

Categories: "only with Autism" Adventures, LDS Mom of Autism | 4 Comments

Cry in the night

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A cry in the night
Is anyone listening?
The pain fills my heart
Does anyone care?
I whisper a prayer
…as I feel my soul shaking.
Then gently I hear
Someone REALLY is there!
Shard Halliday  -May 16, 2011

Categories: Poetry | 2 Comments

Courage quotes- Scriptures for Sunday Morning

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Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.”  -Psalms 27:14

Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the Lord thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.” -Deuteronomy 31:6

“Arise; for this matter belongeth unto thee: we also will be with thee: be of good courage, and do it.”  -Ezra 10:4

 

 

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Hope

Incredibly beautiful day- the kind that made me write this on my facebook page–

“That incredible moment
-When the clouds have rained themselves out, and are scooting in magical shapes towards the horizon
-The ground is soaking wet
-The air smells clean
-And the sky is that brilliant, pristine, perfect azure blue.
—Sigh of content.  

Ok- in the mood for more poetry- this one is for my friends.

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“Hope springs eternal–But the day is long
And sometimes we tire, And it’s hard to press on.
But the Lord sends us strength, He lifts our hearts when we fall;
Hold on and keep trying, he will help you stand tall.”
-by Shard Halliday 2011

Categories: Poetry | Tags: | 1 Comment

A Letter to My Sons: Learning to fly- lesson one

What an amazing feeling tonight-  my oldest is going to turn 22 years old tomorrow, and my sweet daughter is at a dance!  I don’t know how they got that old- I  surely didn’t.  I really don’t feel old enough to know how to have teens and more.  :O

But these pondering gave me the chance to work on something I have been thinking about for a long time.  So–here is the next chapter after the “Parable of the Egg”  (you can read it here) (p.s. She did great!!!)

A Letter to My Sons
Learning to fly- lesson one: Principles of Intelligence

Often, the Lord walks the Earth, checking in on his beloved creations.  Most are not ready to know he was there, but there are ever a few great hearts here and there.  One soft evening in early fall, he came upon the great forest tree that had held the nest of the eagle’s egg.  He recalled watching with joy as the egg hatched; and had sent his wisest Angels to watch over the tiny newborn along with his natural, Earthly parents.

As the cold early spring had blossomed and warmed, the eaglet had watched as all the little birds and creatures nearby began to fledge and fly or scamper off.  Summer came, and now he had begun growing fast- needing all the efforts of his parents to hunt and feed their young offspring.  Then, as summer began melting into fall around him, his parents seemed to know that they were involved in raising greatness, and never complained as they left the nest to the care of the Angels; soaring farther and farther in their search for meat.  But the little one often felt alone and agitated.  It was on one of these times that the Lord came to visit.

The Eaglet saw him, and looked down as the Lord sat beneath the tree.  He didn’t feel much like small talk –  “Ok”- said the young bird. “I followed what you said; and look- here I am stuck in this tree; no one around, lonely and bored out of my skull, and no where to go.  Nothing is fun, nothing is easy. It’s been ages!  Where have you been!   I thought you said something about flying.“

“Ah-” Answered the Lord.  “Only the sparrows and chickens get it easy.  They have not the capacity for anything else.  Greater joy, just like Freedom and all things truly of value, only come to those willing to pay the price- the price of the Victor’s Crown, the Price of Learning to Fly.”

The Eaglet stared up at the heavens in wonder. “What price?” he said.

The Lord’s voice was rich and deep, but not overly loud. Yet it carried with perfect clarity to the nest so high in the tree.  “The price begins in simply time and effort, and obedience to the process of learning.  And It  begins in mastery of the mind over the physical body.  Then you will be ready for the lessons of mastery of the spirit, or what will be called the soul, or heart- over the mind.  All together, I will call these lessons the Principles of Intelligence.”

Now the little Eaglet was confused.  “I thought the principles of Intelligence meant going to college.  That’s what everyone says.  What if I can never manage that- am I doomed forever?”

The Lord leaned back against the soft grass, and gazed into the same heavens as the youthful bird.  “No little one.  If that were true, all my loved ones from Adam and Abraham and Moses and everyone in-between would also not be flying as they are.  Do not fear, those other voices are not right. They have jumped onto a half truth and embraced it with full zeal.  Many of them will yet learn these lessons of mine as they grow, not to worry.   You cannot understand it all yet, so I have broken down this learning into lessons.  Steps that will move my loved ones form the tiniest whispers of understanding, into great soaring moments of wisdom and beyond.  Some of these  lessons are had among men as a gift to start the learning process.  Most come from the scriptures and family values that are had among the parents who ask in faith. “

He stood and looked at the young Eagle who had such a great heart.  “Do yo wish to learn them- these Principles of Intelligence?”

The Eaglet felt alive and weak all at the same time; hope and fear woven together in a great chill down his back.  To learn to Fly!!! but it depended so much on himself.  He didn’t know if he could handle that.  OH! But to FLY!  Finally he looked down to the Lord who was waiting in perfect Peace,  “Do you think I can do it?”

“Yes” was the simple answer.

“But I feel so alone.”

“You will never be truly alone.”

“I mean of those like me- eagles who have not yet learned to fly.”

“There are more Eaglets in the world than you could possibly know.  There are many reasons to spread out the Eagle families so far, but for now I will say just that there is not enough resources here in this small space of forest to feed that many.   Be patient – that is your first principle.  Allow your mind to control your body enough to trust in My timing and wait with faith and patience for your parents to do their best in teaching you the skills to grow up.  Sometimes lessons will need to be repeated throughout your life, perhaps this is one of them…  knowing that you can wait.  Then, each time your parents return, watch them; the great ones who I have assigned to start you on this journey.  Learn to feel what they are feeling- their joys and their fears- as your body gains the strength to beat your wings strong and far;  find the way to connect to the people around you. This is called empathy, and is principle number two in your quest, the principle of seeing beyond yourself.
Now I must go visit others, but I will be back to see how well yo have learned this much.”

The Eaglet watched him walk away like any other man- but he was so much more, and had filled his mind with wonder and pondering.  The great wheel of stars above turned as he thought about what he had heard.  In fact he was so caught up in the new thoughts that he didn’t even notice his grumbling empty stomach.  “Principles” He thought. “What is a principle?” As he fell asleep, the young bird resolved to ask his father when he got home-

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Categories: Courage quotes, Midnight musings, Parables | Leave a comment

Monday Night Courage

Today was one of those- “can’t think or keep going”  kind of days that comes right after the push to get thru Finals and Christmas parties and all that stuff– I really needed a courage quote tonight.

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“Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.” – Arnold Schwarzenegger

“Only if you’ve been in the deepest valley can you ever know how magnificent it is to be on the highest mountain.” ~ Richard Nixon

“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow.” – Mary Anne Radmacher

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Categories: Courage quotes | 3 Comments

The Night Before Thanksgiving

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Twas the night before Thanksgiving,  And all through the house

The chaos has settled, the noise has been doused.

The kid are all cuddled and finally in bed,

with visions of turkey and pies in their heads.

With Grandma and Grandpa,  comfy and sleeping;

I sit here and think- in this vigil I’m keeping–

How very grateful I am for laughter and chatter

The love that we share- those rare gifts that matter.

The grief I have felt when the hard times were rending,

opens the door to miracles unending;

Kids that strive hard, their barriers to hurdle

and show love to each other (and the pun wars kept fertile.)

Thanks to my loved ones who all had their part,

And the Lord’s loving hand to lighten my heart.

As I yawn in exhaustion, my to-do-list shut tight,

Thanksgiving wishes I send, and to all, good night.

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Categories: Midnight musings, Poetry | Leave a comment

Guest Post- “Why do People go to Lunch to Socialize?”

This was actually last week’s post; but I have been totally swamped.  This is just a comment that came up in our wonderfully Aspie/HF asd life, and it really is too good not to share.

-sent to me- Nov. 13 2014

Why do people go to Lunch to “socialize?”

You wait in a line, to go sit down in a room, where it’s typically so loud, that you can only hear 1/2  to 3/4 of what the other person is saying. You politely nod your head and smile… except when your mouth is full of food, which is much of the meal (especially at a normal lunch hour from work,  since you only have about 30 minutes to eat, after travel time to get there.)

So there you sit, your mouth full of food, trying to talk with people who can’t really hear what you are saying…
And if the table is large enough, then you are lucky to exchange smiles and a wave.  Tell me again;  How are you supposed to be building a relationship if you can hear almost Nothing of what is said?

Add to that the food is oddly spiced or cold or too hot.  Then we have to pay for this stress.  Can you say ‘what a fantastic experience!’    Let’s do this again next week, shall we?  … eh, no…not really.

Categories: "only with Autism" Adventures, Guest Posts (seeing the Autistic perspective), LDS Mom of Autism | Leave a comment

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