Well- another sleepless night. But as I lay there reviewing in my mind the last pieces of this school year. I found myself thinking about how my day pretty much revolves around moving from kid need to kid need- trying not to forget the easy kids thru the fog of relentless issues till I drop in bed- only to lay there worrying about them in the same sort of cycle. It has gotten to the point that I have to have a movie on to sleep to, so that I can keep myself from worrying about Ryan, or thinking about what needs to be done tomorrow, etc., etc., etc. But that didn’t even help tonight.
Then I suddenly felt impressed that I should take the time to balance the worries with an equally careful list of blessings and victories…..
This one was a huge victory. No, the team didn’t win, tho’ they held their own. The real victories were deeper. 1- conquering fear…like many HFAutistic kids, fear is monumental for her, but she not only played, even after being hit in the face with the ball- she served! and she tried sets and bumps almost as often as the other girls. 2- the other victory is the team’s… I loved watching those girls. They filled in for her (and each other, for that matter.) never got mad at lost balls, and loved each other thru thick and thin. Amazing true charity. Thanks.
Next, I think I’ll mention Brand’s big moment.
Brand was very nervous a week and a half ago. He wasn’t brave enough to ask anyone to the big, multi-stake Prom till the last moment possible. But I’m so glad he did, and glad she didn’t have a date yet (which is why he had the courage to ask her) That was a huge step for him- one that his big brother has not even wanted to try yet. But he listened to Mom, and started on the right foot by asking someone he was already friends with, he even let me coach him on prom attire and such. The evening was a huge success! And I told him that he would never have to have a “first date” ever again. 🙂 (side note- he’s working on plans for a second date)
Then last week, Mark worked all evening on helping Ryan fix his computer problem.
(I don’t have a good photo for this one)
It was a nasty problem, and miserable to fix, but Mark held his tongue, (a huge Asperger victory) and was blessed with the outcome that Ryan started talking to him. When I saw him opening up to his Dad, I cleared that whole end of the house– I put the little ones to bed (not so little anymore, I guess, but still needing early bed-time for school) and pulled Brand into my room, and watched videos on my bed with him. I told Mark later, that this one night will bring future blessing for years to come- already learned a bit of his headache/ learning issues that I suspected but Ryan had never admitted to before. I may find other victories for him as I write, but for now- I will mention that he is improving by leaps and bounds in his ability to be pleasant and calm with siblings right in the middle of a migraine attack. Now how many people- even neural-normal adults- can claim that one?
4th- is my SuperDK’s turn.
This has been a hard year for him. He has the problem that he is so smart, that it is hard for people around him to really believe he is Autistic (as opposed to just behaving badly) but he can’t seem to get it out, and onto the paper at school. Most of the time he fits the Asperger mold much better, till something happens and his great brain lets him down, and he is suddenly Very autistic, taking teachers and siblings by surprise. But he has more love in him than anyone I’ve ever met, and finds it a joy to be my helper in the home.— And just this weekend, he and his Dad discovered a mutual love for Nancy Drew style computer mystery games… And DK is GOOD at them! They had so much fun camping out together on that thing. I truley believe it is a long-term victory for anyone to find a talent they are good at, but especially for someone who is struggling with a self image problem from poor grades like him and others like him.
Last- I would be very remiss to not include our sweet Kydee.
Kydee is not just the youngest in our home- she is often the glue. She has the ability to climb into the lap, so to speak, of any of her ASD siblings and calm their melt-downs. I teach all my kids that everyone is born with talents and with hard things to over-come, to make them strong; and I sometimes get asked what her hard thing is— but it’s an easy answer that they can see, because she gets headaches every day. We are still trying to find the answers for that one. But in the mean time, she and I have fun being study-buddies, curling up on the bed and watching NOVA when she needs a break from the pressures of being loved so much. 🙂
Well- counting blessings did help. I feel calm and so back to my normal self. And even tho this took much of the night, and the first birds are chirping at the dawn outside, I think I am ready to face the day, and be Mom again. (Hope you enjoyed it too.) Have a great Tuesday!