Well- here it is, 4:30 in the mornint again, and I can’t sleep. My oldest is up prowling the house again– The way to help him is a path thru that dark tunnel that I have not conquered yet. I can’t explain my deep connection to him, it’s always been like I have known him much longer than this Earth life– like I knew him before we were ever born. And his struggles hurt my heart very physically, and color everything. But this week I have had to put all that on the back burner, and scale all the back-to-school mountains for the other kids. And that’s been good for me.
My youngest is SO excited about this new year– it’s been an anodine to all the stress of figuring out the system for the others.
She is psyched about her violin learning, and at meet the teacher night- when the teacher says she will be needing to take a test for ALP (advanced learning program) she jumps up and down and says “Yay!” 🙂 The teacher is the same one her brother had last year, and with that coloring his thoughts — he has no idea of what he is in for- in a good way– she is not just my only Neural Typical, she has so much zest for learning that even tho her IQ isn’t much different from my Autistic kiddies, she takes everything in with a happy voraciousness that just surprises the daylights out of people… It generally takes only two weeks, tho last year it was just two days, for her new teacher to seek me out with a huge “deer in headlights” look, and tell me that they have never seen such an amazing student. This is a bigger school, so there is likely to be a few like her– but I still hold a secret pleasure of anticipation for this teacher.
The others are much more nervous in their anticipation of the new year– much more like standing on the doorway of an unknown world.
My youngest boy starts Jr. High- and he was as scred as a wet cat last night, as we went to his meet-the-teacher night… The place was huge and unknown. But he held my hand and moved forward, letting me talk him thru breathing out the panic and smiling. Not too bad fear management for an Autistic kid- I was so proud of him! 🙂 He is set up for the small transition class geared just for kids like him, so I have cautious good hopes for re-igniting his enjoyment of life and learning.
His big sister is just as Autistic, but so driven to succeed at school, that she plows thru the homework and has been pulling As and some Bs. It is such a hard catch 22 to not qualify for IEP help because she is too smart– but the effort is slowly crumbling her, so, tho I have to wait the one or two weeks after the start of school (so the teachers can meet her, etc. etc.) I am really going to put on my Mother-Bear and require some 504 accomidations. But High School will be good for her- she is so sweet, that all the teachers love her and she has more friends than I did.
Last, but certainly not least, is my 16 yr old. He is a Jr. this year- and tho he shares a struggle with forcing himself to move thru homework with his brothers, he is not Autistic enough for any Dr. in the world to find a diagnosis (it’s the butterfly kisses of my blog title) but he is finally ready to move on beyond what we can do here at home. So I have him signed up for On-Line High School to pick up math and such subjects that we are missing; and have put him into the Tech school here called EVIT- in their 3D animation course. He was so scared last night about jumping feet first into the workload, that he asked for a blessing. It wil be a rough start up, I think, but I also think it will get so exciting that it will pull him thru. I really feel good about it, tho getting him in from the home-school direction had me driving across town all week last week, to move past the catch-22’s of the offices not knowing how to handle the out-of- the-box path I tread. Ah well. The things we do for our kids. 🙂 but it’s coming together now so well, that I know the Lord is with us, moving us toward success– and that powers my faith to keep going. We will make it!!!