Four Letter Words on New Year’s Eve

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It’s been a strange Holiday season this year- My oldest has been in San Fransisco all December working with his Grandpa.  It has been awesome- for me and for him- but hard on the little brothers and sisters.  They have never been without their big brother for more than the length of scout camp before- let alone for Christmas.  So amid fun and joy, we’ve also had moments of weeping and sighs.  The world turns, and growing up happens to the best of us.

Hubby and I have spent a lot of this vacation time moving electronics and such to grow with the kids- but as I sat down to take a break I got to thinking about all the talks and lessons that go with the changing of the year- and I decided to look up my journal page for New Year’ Eve last year, and check on myself to see how I did.  So here’s last years’ thoughts….

Dec.31- 2011:  Thinking about words and resolutions this week…my Dad and I joke about something being a “four letter word”, I said, like the word “goal.”  We laughed, then he reminded me that so is “Love”, “Good”, and “Help”.
It made me think.  I don’t like “new year resolutions,”   my world turns upside down too often.  But I can work on attitude. This year, I won’t say “weak,” or “depressed.”  I can’t always avoid “pain,” “tired,” or “lonely,” but I can replace them quickly.  So, my list of words for this new year is– “family,” “Home,” “Charity,” “Hope,” “Faith,” “Courage,” “Smile,” “forgive,” “retry,’ “patience,” “endure-well,” “determination,” “valor,” and “Love”.

Back to 2012–So, how did you do on last year’s resolves?   I did pretty good most of the time.  My world still turns upside down regularly as I learn to navigate the needs of my Spectrum kids, working the school systems, not leaving anyone out, and still survive.  All of my kids besides the oldest moved up a school this year, and I really struggled with the high stress and my health.  I did not always succeed in keeping the word “depressed” out of my thoughts, but I find that I have come out the other side with a fair amount of growth in my own faith, stamina, and strength to see things to the end of the tunnel.   This has also been a year of learning other things as well.     Mark learned to fix Air Conditioners, Transmissions, as well as the Kitchen sink.  I learned to read medical journals, start up a blog, and found friends thru the internet all over the country, from  Idaho to Texas. We have indeed grown closer as a family, re-learned the healing magic of service projects, and everyone has increased in their ability to have the courage to keeping trying.

So, as I get ready to pull out my once a year puzzle marathon 🙂  I think we did pretty well, much of the time, all things considered; in fact, I think I’ll keep this list of words posted on my fridge- ready for the start of another year!

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Categories: LDS Mom of Autism, Midnight musings | Leave a comment

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