Monthly Archives: April 2013

A Scripture for Sunday

I needed to go searching for a courage quote this morning to get me willing to start the day.

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The Gift of Courage

I wrote this a while ago- but never felt right posting it.   I think today is a good time.

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Courage is gained piece by piece, like a Chinese puzzle box, as we gain the victory over each moment of fear and move on to the next; this is how the Lord refines warriors who have the strength to stand against all the hosts of evil or just daily life….

 This is the Gift of Courage
The Courage to Smile
When you don’t feel well.
The Courage to Stand Tall
When everyone is looking.
The Courage to be Kind
When others are not.
The Courage to be Honest, Always,
Whatever the consequences.
The Courage to forgive
When you are hurting inside.
The Courage to ask for forgiveness
When you caused the hurt.
The Courage to try again
especially when it’s hardest.
The Courage to open your heart
and Love.

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-Shard, Jun. 2010

Categories: Courage quotes, LDS Mom of Autism, Midnight musings, Parables, Poetry | 2 Comments

Faintly Frantic but Feeling Loved

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I’m hiding out in my bedroom; the shower water running, eating a peanut butter and honey sandwich.  I have several wonderful drafts started, but my head is just too foggy to work on those.  It’s been a bit of  a Morton Salt week- you know, “It doesn’t rain, it pours”  🙂  And I feel like I need to find the silver lining to it all– the Lord is the master of Serendipity,  turning things that look bad to His purpose, but I know that unless we search, sometimes it’s hard to see his hand in those rough times.

So I’m looking…

Well- The Air Conditioner finally got so old that the motor gave out… but it is early in the year, and unseasonably cool for here in Arizona, so we can take the time to find the best way to fix it within our pocketbook.  ( a blessing)

Let’s see– taxes were really hard on my Aspie hubby this year, he really stresses over finding more and more proof of governmental, um, well it wasn’t very fun…. but he pushed himself through with great strength, and never ever snapped at anyone.  And we broke even too. (very watched over)

Umm- The spring pollen this year was monumental-ly hard on Brand and even Kydee struggled for the first time… but  in the process of needing to get him a doctor visit, I was hugely blessed with our family doctor feeling really connected with me and my family; and he talked at great length, even figuring out how to order up some heavy metal  blood tests not only for Brand, but also for my oldest, without him even being there!  I’m very grateful.

Oh, and speaking of which, migraines have not abated for my oldest, in fact he says that he doesn’t feel the pain anymore, only numb, and looses a couple of days, (also makes his ASD worse than normal)  I am so lost and struggling to know how to help him- it is a battle of research versus exhaustion for me… but he came to me and apologized yesterday for exploding the day before.  Says thanks Mom for the food, and said Love Ya and even almost hugged!  And I have looked up journal entries that said I felt very strong that he will pull thru this.  Very glad I wrote it down back then. I cling to that.

And I really must mention  last week, I couldn’t find sleep.  I was running about 1 to 2 hours at a time and then waking up again- for days.  Finally one morning at 3 am, I wrote on my facebook just a simple cry- “someone tell me I’m going to make it.”   And I have to say, All day long I had family and friends sending words of encouragement.  That has never happened before.  In fact, the last time I tried reaching out like that- years ago- I got no response at all.  None.  And I told myself firmly to never try it again.  But I’m glad I forgot.  That day full of reassurance was —just amazing!  I felt sooooo loved!

Well–  The house is full of happy giggles at the moment– so I better go get that shower before my quiet time ends. Tomorrow is the last day of AIMS (state mandated yearly competency test) and then I think things might feel a little easier to breathe.  If I don’t get back on before then, don’t forget to get out on the pre-dawn morning of Earth day and watch the meteor shower!  I’m going to go for pictures!

See Ya

Categories: LDS Mom of Autism | 2 Comments

Don’t quit

Roller coaster day in the ordinary Autistic way.  Very grateful for the good morning.  Now I need a courage quote to go to bed with…. a friend sent this to me, I’m passing it on.

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Saturday Gratitude

I am SO blessed!

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I am sitting on the floor, surrounded by things I need to pick-up, clean, sort, and do; but I am also surrounded by my family– literally, where I go is where they want to be, Hubby napping at my feet, kids playing games on the computers and handhelds with three of them within an arms length of me– and that’s ok.

The spirit is strong today.  We are blessed to have fast enough internet access to stream General Conference- So my computer was set up where all could see and hear- some years we hook it up to our bigger screen TV- but this year we were tired.  No matter- it was awesome.

It really warmed my heart to see some success from all the years and years of consistent effort… All the toddler years and young grade school years, where so much of the meeting is absorbed with having to be stern and quell arguments and noise, are starting to show some results.  I still get random comments, as their brains are just plain wired that way; but this year they all graciously accepted the reminder that I was listening to a talk. They had all accepted my offer of paper and pencils and spent most of the morning diverting their need to comment on what they were learning, onto drawings of things the speakers were talking about. Even  DK laid on my lap and drew if/then cartoons (if you are tempted,then…) and it was so completing to see his brain grasping and processing spiritual concepts as he felt safe in the nearness of family love and the spirit of the meeting.

I don’t pretend to believe it will always be this easy- I am well aware of the size of the  backslides and gains that kids on the spectrum must move thru, including mine- and who’s going thru them at the moment.  But today was such a gift, that I would be very ungrateful to not make mention of it.  And I really was blessed by the later part of President Eyring’s talk this morning… He talked of the Savior drawing  close to our loved ones as we serve and draw close to Him.  It was a moment of great hope and healing for my heart.   Hope you find a moment to feel His love for you too.4164-800

Categories: LDS Mom of Autism | 2 Comments

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