Monthly Archives: June 2013

Letting myself Laugh and Regroup

I’ve decided that there is no such thing as an easy season.  During the school year the pressure is intense to keep on top of everything; getting everyone to their own schools, making sure they are all keeping up on homework and not ditching, and of course the daily dose of counseling disappointments and social struggles,  mopping up melt-downs, and keeping kith and kin fed and clean, etc… But summer trades it for other stresses.  Some from not as rigid of schedules, some from the fact that it’s the only time Mom has to do her own doctor appointments and such… and some just plain from the heat (at 115 degrees, cabin fever is a summer problem down here.)

However- just as during the school year- we fight stress with giggles.  My wise father once taught my young kids that  “smiling makes you smarter”   He’s right… it releases endorphines, opens the lungs, and a whole host of positive health feed backs.  And watching for funny moments increases friendships in the home, and creates great memories for the future- especially helpful when so much of life is just plain tuff.   All that being said– I just have to share a funny moment that has sure helped me deal with this week full of doctors and other long days.

So- Yesterday was another beautiful dawn.  I was enjoying watching the finches.  DK had  come in and kissed me “good-morning” and fixed himself cereal for breakfast.  And I was just starting to think about writing a post on the sounds of peace- when it was the sound of splashing instead.  What?!  Well- in a moment of pure ASD focus- my sweet son had so lost himself in hugging his toy that he leaned head-first into his bowl of milk.   🙂

(another one just tonight- listening to  hubby explain to oldest how an air conditioner works– son-“wow- it’s like math-magic-land… I wish my teachers in school had explained things like this, it would have made math fun”)

Makes it all worthwhile

Categories: LDS Mom of Autism, Midnight musings | 1 Comment

Manifesting the Works of God

“You parents and you families whose lives must be reordered because of a handicapped one, whose resources and time must be devoted to them, are special heroes. You are manifesting the works of God with every thought, with every gesture of tenderness and care you extend to the handicapped loved one. Never mind the tears nor the hours of regret and discouragement; never mind the times when you feel you cannot stand another day of what is required. You are living the principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ in exceptional purity. And you perfect yourselves in the process.”
-Elder Boyd K Packer



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An almost gluten-free day.

Long day.  But a good one.

I don’t know why, but  5-1/2 hours of sleep was all I could manage… so I decided to search for a GF recipe for Banana Nut Muffins for my kids to start off the day.   I;m not ready to post that recipe yet, it tasted good, but had a bit eggy of a texture… learned a bit and most of the kids were willing to at least taste it and lend an opinion.  🙂

So- I decided to try again, a little softer, after lunch– and made our favorite thumbprint cookies with half wheat and half a GF flour mix.  It was a smashing success!  (way too yummy for me to avoid snitching)

That gave me the courage to go full GF dinner- Spaghetti.  Well- we had already tried rice noodles once (yuck) so this time I bought a corn-quinoa based package.  I am not quite expert on the art of cooking non-wheat noodles so they don’t stick– I think it requires something along the lines of the patience to stir continually. But they tasted great.  So- as long as I don’t stress myself- I think we’re off to a great start.

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Heroic Legacies

Ahhh-  Finally made it to afternoon on a lovely Father’s Day Sunday.    Amazingly, all the kids sat for a family photo, just for a father’s day gift for Grandpa, and they are now all playing in their rooms;  time to sit and relax, watching the movie “Percy Jackson”  with my Hubby- Wow, it almost feels like a date!

Sitting here, thinking of my Dad, and all the fathers behind him- in fact, we’re even watching a movie based on the legacies of the fathers– I really wanted to give tribute to the awesome men that have been a part of my life.  Only problem is, it’s been 15 minutes– quiet time is over 🙂 So, since I can’t think deep or poetic right now…  I decided to do more of a photo essay.

pioneer fam-1996

This is not my ancestors photo, tho’ it would be fun if it was.  It’s us as a young family, working at the “This is the place” living museum park in SLC, Utah.  It was a fantastic summer.  It wasn’t the first time that I felt connected to my ancestors- but this time, I was old enough to finally really understand what they did for me; and with my little ones, I really got a feeling for the effort it took to raise kids well in their circumstances.  Even as a special needs mom- I really have very little to complain about.  Thank you- I am so grateful for the sacrifice you gave to build the foundation of my family’s faith.


This photo is my Dad and his parents and brother.  I would love to sit and upload photo’s like this for all my, and my hubby’s parents and grandparents- but it’s father’s day, so I’ll let my nostalgia stick with just one line of Heroes.  Awesome, huh?  Thank you Grandpa (and Grandma) you raised a great man, who became my first hero.


Faster than a calculator;  Stronger than a a guy half his age;  Able to … to hold babies in a single hand… A man of integrity and valor that gave me the example of what kind of man I wanted for my own best friend someday.

fam play-spr2003

so— Here’s my best friend– a really great father in his own right, a true credit to the legacy of his own heritage.  Being a hero to his daughters, and teaching his sons how to be great fathers in their turn.

And here we are now- the photo I mentioned that we took just today.  A gift just for our Grandpa on Father’s day.  Grandpa- you have passed on a legacy of heroes… The heart of courage to climb the higher path, and the love to move thru the pain, and never give up on anyone.  Thanks, we love you!


Categories: Courage quotes, Midnight musings | Leave a comment

Adventure Update Log

Long week.  I don’t feel very inspiring or poetic, hard to sleep, and then when I do- I start dreaming of lecturing people about their poor care of my kids.  (sigh)  And attempts to sleep-in are gone with Ryan and  DK awake and giggling in Ryan’s room; he’s either playing a game or watching a cartoon- but I don’t really want to wake up enough to find out which.  But reading over old posts helps, it really helps to know that Heavenly Father is watching and cares.

Well, just to update myself- I had my ultrasound this week.  They didn’t find anything big enough to scare them into going for the biopsy– so they said that was good news, ’cause it meant no cancer signs.  It’s been hard to take it as good news tho, cause it means no easy answer.  With my luck, it’s several things at once- I keep having visions of different possibilities, and maybe something else just for good measure.  But I’m not giving up- kids need me- so follow up with the Doctor is next week.

In other news, I tried GF waffles last night (from a pre-packaged mix)  They were a hit, and tasted really good, almost indistinguishable from my normal ones- but Ryan wouldn’t eat them- he said he can’t eat breakfast food for dinner.  (not like I have done breakfast food for dinner at least once every other week since he was born)  Twit is getting more Autistic as I watch.  sigh. Kydee and I had a hard time digesting it tho’, so I’m going to have to read the label and work on that one.

Well that’s life this morning.  Hoping to get feeling better so I can post something more uplifting.  I think I’ll spend the morning working on missionary skirts for my niece- service projects that are also creative works always boost my spirits.

Talk to you later.

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Cleaning out the Cupboards


So- with kids camps over, and birthdays (and cakes) done for a while, it’s back to my adventure of trying Gluten Free for a bit this summer.   I have pulled all my GF recipe books out of retirement, tested a few box mixes, and yesterday I read nutrition articles and recipes till my head hurt.  Now I have my favorite recipes copied, most of the ingredients purchased; and it’s down to cleaning out the kitchen.  And packing away that bin of wheat flour is actually going to be the easy part… Also on the list is going thru the ingredient labels on all the condiments, cooking ingredients, and munchies- even the vitamins!  Whew!

Progress is slow, but I’m moving forward on my personal doctor appointments as well, so I’m actually pretty happy with where we are so far.  🙂

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Finding Courage in Unusual Places

Had the most amazing moment of enlightenment this morning- and I just had to share!

The last couple of weeks have been those kind where you’re either really busy, or really quiet, with very little in-between.   The kids and I got thru to the end of the school year, and just collapsed for a couple of days like a balloon deflating.  IMG_1180

We so needed that rest.  Then it was back to getting everything ready for camps- 3 at once.  The girls are both at church girls camp this year, and Brand is with the Varsity Scouts.  It seemed to be all I could do to force my brain to function in little 20 minute spurts and get everything ready– Then it was time to take myself to the doctor, and start gathering ingredients and recipes for our gluten free summer experiments.

But- as I sit here, wondering how they all handled their camps (I’ll find out later today)  I suddenly realized that I am not afraid at the moment- I have found a scoop of courage to put in my bucket from some places I did not expect.  Places called:  Reaching Out,  Overlooking, Reading Blogs, and Letting Go.

Reaching Out.

I have always like secret service projects, but while those cheer up my blues and help me not to think about myself for a while- they weren’t doing the trick lately.  Fears were getting root.  So I called on an old friendship.  And bless her heart, she came and visited for over a fortnight.  The kids say we talked the entire 2 weeks, and they are almost right… but what a cleansing I have not had in years.  I have been in this house for 8 years now, and I am finally starting to not feel like a transplant.  I can cope with the heat, I almost know when to plant things, and I am working hard to learn the names of everyone at church.  But I have no family here, and at times, like holidays, we really notice that we are on our own.  It’s amazing how profound a friend can be.  There have been the rare gems who poured their love into me from the moment we moved here, and that has kept me going;  but I am also grateful for the rare treasures of old friendships renewed.  My body doesn’t want to cooperate yet- but my spirit is energized, I feel like I can soar.


This is not really a new concept.  At least once a year we hear a lesson, either in church or in motivations places, that try to drum into our brains this vital need.  Phrases such as “Play to your strengths”, or “don’t compare your weaknesses to other’s strengths” and on- we really should pay attention before they start sounding trite.  But all this week I have been feeling it differently, and it finally came to a head– The need to look past, or in my case over, the weaknesses to see what is good.  Loved ones tell me to look at all I am doing to help my sweet kids and those around me- (like how non-profound they can be at times as they feel loved enough to learn to cope) and tell me to not look at what I have no strength left for.  It’s hard for me to do-  I hate mess and chaos- but I just don’t have it in me to push harder, and I suddenly felt the truth this morning- that that is o.k.

Let’s see– Reading

Specifically today- Reading Blogs.   This morning in the wee hours that I couldn’t get back to sleep- I came across a blog that truly inspired me.  I was wandering the gluten free recipes, and came across a blog that opened up her comment line to the question “what have you learned that you can share” …and I started reading all the thoughts that I have had.  I found out today that I am not alone.  It was so comforting!  and I also read that knowing how to cook well (the traditional way) could even be a hinderance.  EUREKA!  Maybe it’s possible that my weakness that I was so worried about (I think the kitchen actively dislikes me) I need a Hollywood drum-roll or something—is actually a a possible hidden strength waiting for me to find it! (blog I read is here-

and Letting Go

Well- all of this boils down today to the process of letting go of pre-concieved notions that are filling me with fears I don’t even need; giving me “Agida” so to speak.  I am doing o.k. already.  And isn’t it encouraging to know that?IMG_3222

Categories: Courage quotes, LDS Mom of Autism, Midnight musings | Leave a comment

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