Just a Wednesday

Nothing out of the ordinary- at least in my house.

March 12–Dear Journal-
Today was a very long, ordinary, sometimes amazing Wednesday day of rescues…

It is Spring break, so I am taking advantage of no school to sleep in, and hopefully catch up on some much needed rest. and repair some sleep-deprivation poor health.  But not today-  somewhere around 3 (am) my TeaRose came in and crawled in bed with Mark and I.  She hasn’t done that in a long time, so I figured it must have been a really bad nightmare, and let her stay.  (first rescue- before we even got up)   Tho’ Mark and I decided that next time we will either have him trade and sleep in her bed, or have me take her back, and stay with her for a while; ’cause 3 in a bed made for a very sleepless night. (sigh)

Needless to say, I didn’t sleep in much; and the little kids (I’m going to have to think of a different word for the 3 younger ones- they’re really not little anymore)  were up by 7:30, just that extra little time makes a big difference, I sure don’t look forward to back-to-school next week and getting them up by 6.

Anyway, by 8 it was time to start waking Ryan for his dentist appointment.  He has been waking on his own at 7 or 8 for the last 3 days, so I crossed my fingers, and didn’t reschedule the dentist. (He doesn’t like me to talk about him- but it was part of my day, and turned out good, so I am)  Oh!,  he was hard to wake!  I am amazed how fast his brain can sabotage his sleep schedule!  It took till 8:30 to get him to sit up, and I had to be strong and insistent the whole way there, just to make it to the 9:15 appointment only 5 minutes late.  I’m glad he let me, it was to put the permanent crown on; his temporary crown has been there for almost 2 months.  His mouth will feel so much better when it’s done.  But I needed Mark to come and trade with me, as I had made an appointment at 10, with a sister in our ward to measure for a hem. (an emergency rescue of my own, her normal person she gets to help has shingles- yuck)  So Mark had just barely had time to get to work, and had happened to get a co-worker laughing and rescued his day, when he turned around and came and rescued me, by waiting for Ryan to be done and bringing him home.

I went to the house of the family in our ward, and enjoy talking, and pinning the dress measurement, and lo and behold- I had locked my keys in my van.  I have not done that in years!  Totally shows how hard it is getting to keep my brain going straight.  another sigh.  But she drove me home, and when Mark got home from the Dentist, he took me back to the van on his way back to work. (how many rescues are we up to now?- 5, I think)

Well, when I got home, Brand was still not doing well- he had woken up groggy and withdrawn, Mark and I had both noticed, but he said he was just tired.  While Mark had taken me to the Van, he had decided to go walking- with his Christmas present sword and a backpack full of water and exercise weights.  I called his phone and asked if he would like a pick-up rescue.  (“yes please”)  Well- I got him in the car, and told him that I could tell something was up, and he needed to tell me…. and I got more than I expected.

He told me  that sometimes he feels attacked, and many other direct things, and it wasn’t just the medicine he takes for his headaches and seizure prevention- he has been having this problem for a long time.  He’s 18, and loves the Lord, so I wasn’t too surprised, I know of many who have had to bear this trial.  Anyway- I instantly decided that we needed to go strait to someplace safe to talk… and I took him to the new Gilbert temple- he said “I don’t really feel like talking much” and I said, that’s ok, I will do the talking- and we went and sat by the waterfalls.  And while he drifted his hand in the calm running water, I asked him what he knew of the war in Heaven.  He said- “just the Sunday School stuff- two plans, and one third followed satan and were kicked out”  I told him yes, but there was much more to it.

I told him – the Lord’s plan wasn’t just get a body and return, no effort spent; but to learn and grow enough to return and gain all he had, (like every really good father)  -and that meant choosing and making mistakes and learning from them.  -that we don’t really know if it was just words, or if it got violent, but all account agree in the word used, they all call it a War.   -Then I told him of the account my Uncle (a patriarch for over 30 years) told me when I was a teenager, of the young Downs Syndrome man, who got a Patriarchal blessing that told him he was one of those that escorted Satan out of heaven.– I said that Satan did not accept loosing, he did not want to go, and he refused to admit defeat, even as he was escorted out, he was like the movies that say “this war is not over,” and he knew those who made sure he left, knew them Personally,  this young man among them.  And a protective armor was given to him to protect him from the attacks of an angry enemy. — And I said I had just seen this same story in a note from another mom, who’s daughter received a similar blessing during a hospital stay,  that said she had been one of those who held a sword to make the adversary leave, and that she had been similarly protected. — And that Grandpa and I have agreed that all those with Autism are among that sort of special spirits.   – I also told him of others I know that feel the veil that separates us from them.  It is a special gift of the spirit for the veil to be that thin; but it is a two-edged sword…to feel the presence of those spirits who care for us,  is also to be close enough to the veil to hear the spirits of those under the command of the evil one too.  And people of the world don’t like to hear about any of  it.   But it also meant that the Lord had great trust in him.

So I spent time reminding him of the things the Lord has given us as shields and armor against such direct attacks… (we are no longer talking about standing up against peer pressure here)  like the family records Indexing I had been getting him to do, which allows all those people to have a vested interest in helping him stand against the spikes of the adversary,  and of course the things they already talk about in church like scriptures and prayer- and I told him that I had chosen the Temple grounds because it was now dedicated to the Lord, and the adversary could not come…it’s a safe place he can always go to when he is in need and our house is too noisy,  and that meant a good thing about pushing the fear envelope, and getting his drivers license done, is so he can drive himself there when he needed to… and I also made sure he knew that the priesthood had the power over the adversary, and that he could ask a blessing any time he needed to- not a healing, but a strength and power blessing, and I said we were blessed with a Dad who held this priesthood so well that he could do this blessing.  And I listed other men he could go to, if Dad was out of town,who would understand, like the Stake President and our home teacher. (and I told him Grandpa understood and could do this also- so when he comes to visit, he will be able to add him to the list)  —

And that brought up another thought, that I think was a bit of revelation… I said, in the Heavenly meetings where the great spirits were gathered to get their assignments of Kings and Prophets and stuff, there were also many great spirits who were asked to take a very different assignment, of being , umm “salt” for want of a better word; as in sprinkled about and looking like just ordinary people, so that they can help the next generation of great ones and others… because prophets and kings can’t be there one-on-one to help in the daily needs of growing up that these young, next generation of great ones would need.  So some were kings; and some were disguised as ordinary men, to be the intimate guides. And that Grandpa was one of those hidden great men.  It was awesome- and made so much sense, that I wanted to shout this new piece of revelation from the housetops, but I knew I couldn’t- nor on the phone, or on the facebook type parts of technology; it’s too open to the view of all.  Here in my journal, and maybe the email part of the internet, perhaps my blog, will be about it.  So I packed it tight in my memory, and we went to the store to get bread, and went home to feed lunch to everyone.  (And I had a lot of hugs for the rest of the day)

Well, I was not surprised to find that even tho’ the kids are capable of making sandwiches or eating cold cereal, none of them had thought of it till I got home (about 1pm) and they needed rescuing.  It’s the autism disconnect in the link between knowing “how” to make lunch, and feeling “able” to do so.  They just stand there and look around and then get out of the kitchen and ask for help.  I’m not upset- it’s the part of life we are in. So rescue number 7 was pretty easy.

Soon in was time for TeaRose’s flute lesson.  That lady is so awesome!  She loves my sweet girl, and she has said that her best times as a teacher is to learn different ways to teach so that the unique ones can find the benefits and love of music.  TeaRose seldom has time to practice anything at home, with her load of homework (not counting spring break) and so it is just the half hour a week, but already, she is up to sight-reading sheet music.  I really need to figure out how to write the music I want the kids to play together.

On this high, I went back out to the garage to see what I had the energy to do- and I got a lot more bits cut and measured for the girls’ toy shelves unit, and Kydee’s mini night stand.  and I also started cleaning up the wood and stuff on the work table (the goal is to have it ready to hold all the tools, and be organized by the time my dad gets here)  And, again- it wasn’t really very long before I got tired and achy.  It was time to think about diner anyway.

So- burrito time, and it was good, then Mark got home from work.

That poor guy has been having a hard time at work.   His Aspergers is screaming with inconsistencies  he is seeing and can’t do anything about.  And he is using soooo much energy to remember all his hard-won people skills, so that he doesn’t get victimized in the wake.  And on top of it, he has to keep up fixing the hardware and software bugs of his regular job.  But I know he can do it,  and make things work, because he really is that smart.

So- instead of telling Mark about my cool experiences, I had to do one more rescue of the day, and listen to him tell me all about his day, so he could decompress and recover.  He needed it, but I didn’t do a very good job, I’m afraid- I was too tired to handle his frustration very well.  It wasn’t pointed at me, but his spirit is very strong, and it gets me right in my heart.  I hope he and the Lord forgive me for that- trying to do better.  Tried to get to sleep earlier, but Ryan went out with friends, and didn’t get back till after 11(pm), and the muscle relaxant the Doctor prescribed isn’t helping my night-time leg pain today.   Tomorrow I need to do dishes, and try to remember to do something that I know I am forgetting, but I just can’t grab it and pull it out. Hope it comes back to me.


Categories: LDS Mom of Autism | Leave a comment

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